Oh, hey there. It’s been a while. I’ve been out of sorts. I had a couple more medication changes that fucked me up quite a bit in the past several months, and I kind of hit a wall in my career, personal development, and my relationship, and I certainly didn’t give myself time to grieve the loss of my dog properly. I was exhausted, depressed, and totally unmotivated. I gave zero shits for way too long, and now I’m trying to find my path back to the person I want to be; the best version of myself. I’ve found, though, that I spent way too much time and energy trying to make myself want things that were no longer what was best for me. I was trying so hard to convince myself that my goals should be the same as they were in the past that I didn’t take time to evaluate if those were still things I wanted. I went down a rabbit hole only to finally realize that if I’d achieved those goals, I wouldn’t be happy anyway. I needed to acknowledge that goals change as we do, because it’s tough to let go of things, and that’s totally OK.
It’s hard for me to blog here when I’m not feeling myself, honestly. Our mission is to help women live their best lives, and I was certainly not living mine. Nowhere close. I guess I was practicing self care, if self care looks like eating cookie dough out of a tub. (I mean, I think it CAN look like that, once in a great while, but let’s be honest. Doing it fairly regularly isn’t self care. It’s self harm.) Who the hell was I to help guide anyone else? I was a hot mess. What I guess I really lost sight of, though, is that I’m a woman, and if we’re trying to help women live their best lives, why was I uncomfortable starting with myself? I’m pretty sure there are plenty of people out there going through the same things I am, or who could learn from my journey.
Part of it is that it’s really hard to be totally raw and honest online. The Pinterest/Instagram/Blogosphere corner of the internet is full of people with photoshopped and glossed over lives. I don’t blame anyone for wanting to put their best foot forward, especially in a cruel world full of strangers who sometimes want to make themselves feel better by taking other people down. I find that women, especially, fall into this pattern of behavior. When you’re miserable and things aren’t going your way, it’s a hell of a lot easier to lash out and judge other people than to turn the mirror on ourselves. I know I’ve been guilty of that toxic practice. The nickname Mitch the Bitch didn’t come from thin air. I wear the label “Bitch” proudly when I use my skills to stand up for myself and for people and ideals I love. I’m not so proud if I use it to personally attack people. It doesn’t make me better, it doesn’t make them better, and it doesn’t make the world a better place.
It’s equally as bad when I use my elevated skills of verbal decimation on myself, whether I say it out loud, or I say it inside my head. I’m always up for a good self deprecating joke, honestly, and that will probably never change, but I need to be a lot kinder to myself when I stumble. I need to be a lot more honest with myself, as well. A character trait I’m not terribly fond of is my all or nothing, zero to sixty in ten seconds personality. It’s great to ramp myself up and throw myself into something I care about or to reach towards a goal, but it’s a train wreck when I don’t allow myself room for moderation or failure.
Be real; who else does this? We say, “I stayed on my diet for three days then I ate some fries, so I’ll start again Monday,” or, “I really wanted to start blogging again, and I wrote a couple I’m pretty happy with, but then I ran out of time and motivation and now I look stupid because who the hell wants to follow me?”
The answer to failure shouldn’t be, “Fuck it!” if it’s something you really want. If it’s something that you think will make you really happy, start again today. Commit again right now, and if you stumble, start again right away. Don’t give up, but forgive yourself if you don’t succeed and follow the path that you thought would lead you to your goal. My goal is pretty simple. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to be the best version of myself and I want to help other women do the same. For me, that’s going to require nothing but pure honesty, self love and acceptance, and accountability. I’m going to be honest with myself and right here on this blog. I’m going to love myself to identify self destructive behavior, take some time to analyze why I did it, and find a better way to reach my goals when I start again. I’ve found that what we sometimes think will make us happy isn’t really what we originally think it is. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the minutia of what we are trying to do that we don’t take time along the way to reevaluate and make sure that the place we’re going is still the destination we want to reach.
So here I go again, but not on my own. I have AK and my family, and other amazing, strong friends and mentors to love me and guide me, and maybe I have you. You have me if you need me. Reach out. I don’t care who you are, or where you are in your process. You don’t have to be spiritually awakened, because I know I’m not there yet. You don’t have to know exactly what you want or how the hell to get there, but if you’re reaching for something and you’re not content, hit me up. I’m actually a lot better at advice for other people than I am for myself. Even if I can’t help, I will almost always say something ridiculous and make you laugh and see things from a different perspective.
When we started this blog, I had a clear idea of what I wanted to do here, of what my role should be, and really, what I thought I wanted and what I thought would make me happy. Some of that is still right, and some of that has changed, but I promise, it’s OK to figure it out as you go along. Don’t stay committed to things that don’t serve you. Seriously, knock it off. If you made a goal to run a marathon but you keep injuring yourself, that might not be the right goal for you. There are other ways to get fit and strong. I’m not saying to divorce your husband or quit your job right now, especially if you love them and see a way forward and a future with them that could be fulfilling. I am saying that the way forward might look different than you thought it would, and you need to be open to that.
I have a lot more to say. I want to talk about spirituality and the divine feminine, and I started this blog to talk about gratitude. I’m going to write about both soon, but this is what came out right now and I’m not second guessing it. This needed to come out for a reason, so here it is. You’ll see the good, the bad, the ugly, and the utterly ridiculous here, so strap in for the ride.
Love, light, forgiveness, and an appropriate amount of cookie dough,
Selfish Mitch and I have talked about this alot…30 years of weight, clothes, hair, make-up, diet…in a society that bases everything on the external, how you look seems like the most important thing ever. Fuck that noise…honestly, that’s pretty much always been my perspective on physical appearance. As an Empath, I have the ability to know people on an energetic, soul level…seeing past the physical and understanding the non-physical. For me, someone’s physical appearance is confirmation of what I am picking up psychically. As within, so without (are y’all sick of me saying this, yet)…how we feel, what we believe, about ourselves on the inside is manifested in the physical. We all know plenty of skinny, pretty people that are so shallow on the inside, the outside doesn’t become so attractive anymore. On the flip side, we all know plenty of people that are not considered “attractive”, by this fucked up society’s standards, but are the BEST people in the world. When Selfish Mitch and I met, way back at 14 (1989 lol), I was not even 5 feet tall, maybe 70 lbs….I don’t know Mitch’s stats off the top of my head, but she was taller and weighed more. I didn’t give a fuck how she looked…when she introduced herself, I saw her soul, her light and I loved her instantly. I can’t really relate my experience to any TV character, as I really don’t watch TV. I’ve never been big on what’s going on in the media and/or celebrities…I just really don’t care about the people chosen to be our role models. As far as I’m concerned, these people are in the public eye to manipulate how we feel and what we believe about ourselves…that we are never enough…smart, skinny, pretty, talented, you get the idea. These are the messages all around us everyday & it’s bullshit.
I’ve never been one to worry about my weight. I”ve always been tiny… I am fine boned and not built to carry much weight. During my pregnancies I gained, of course, and Selfish Mitch, I did hit 166 lbs. at the very end of my first pregnancy (I had gained 51 lbs). However, before my daughter was 6 months old, I was back to 120 lbs. Breastfeeding and some Billy Blanks, Tae-Bo, whipped me right back into shape. The other 2 pregnancies I gained around 40 lbs. and lost the weight due to stress, fatigue and anxiety, brought on by the ending of shitty marriages. Unlike many, I shut down when stressed out. There have been days where I literally cannot bring myself to eat. Not the healthiest way to lose weight, but it’s just who I am and how my body works. I have never been a big eater, I eat to live, not live to eat. I have always just eaten whatever I want, whenever I want and I know many that wish they could do the same. Skinny, fat…that shit doesn’t matter, we all have our shadows. Although, at the end of the second marriage, after years of narcissist abuse, the weight loss wasn’t healthy, like I was going to die if it continued, serious shit…my ob/gyn began monitoring my weight. I was teaching and would have to deal with all kinds of judgmental bullshit in the Teacher’s Lounge. “Do you ever eat?” “I wish I was as thin as you!” “You know you don’t need to lose weight, don’t you?” on & on, daily basis and it sucked. Skinny chicks get shit, too.
The judgments, the rude comments and sexual innuendos. My god, I could write a book on the shit men have said to me about my body. Fucking degrading and disgusting. In high school, I was told I was a carpenter’s dream: flat as a board and easy to nail. At 15 years old, I was flat chested, still am and it never bothered me. At 15 years old, I was a virgin, yet found myself to be a whore because of how I looked, part of that being my size. I was shoved into a locker once, as well, pretty sure it was an option because I’m tiny. I have had more men than I care to count leering at me, making comments about my body and what they would like to do to it. This shit still happens to me at 42…I’m friends with a guy that continually speaks about what he would like to do to me, sexually, even though I have more than once said we are just friends. I’ve flat out said not going to happen, dude. But, he thinks it’s cute and funny to make these comments. On the flip side, I’ve been told I would look better with some more meat on my bones. Selfish Mitch knows a guy, that at her birthday party last year, told me I would look better with bigger boobs and he would buy them for me. My response was, “Thanks, but I love myself just the way I am.” My narc ex told me a few months ago, I look like a meth addict. For the fucking love of Buddha, a meth addict? The shit people project onto others is just fucking ridiculous.
Today, I eat a mostly vegetarian diet, although I don’t believe in following any diet, like everything else for me, there is no box. I listen to my body and it tells me what it needs. I eat when I’m hungry, sometimes that’s once a day with a bunch of snacks. Sometimes, it’s 3 meals a day with a bunch of snacks…my snacks are bananas, nuts, Cliff bars, you get the idea. If I want ice cream, I eat the damn ice cream. I do yoga 5/6 days a week and I walk dogs, 2-5 miles daily…guess what, I’m not going to be gaining any weight anytime soon, so anyone with a problem can fuck right off. On top of eating and exercising, I’m in ascension. Basically, my body is becoming lighter, purer, to hold higher energetic frequencies. Hence, the changes in my diet and being guided to yoga. These changes occur during the spiritual awakening to prepare the physical body for ascension. I will say, the yoga has done some mind blowing things to my body. I have muscles where I’m pretty sure they have never existed before and that is just the cherry on top, when it comes to the benefits of yoga. In the past year, I have come to love my body in ways I never really thought about. Today, I choose to show my body how sacred and loved it is by how I treat it on the daily. I do have one last bad habit though…smoking and it pisses me the fuck off. But, I’m aware and working on it, every damn day.
I’m skinny, tiny, thin…my physical body meets societies expectations, but I really don’t give a fuck and it never stopped people from being aholes to me. The shallow, superficial way of thinking and treating each other needs to stop, like yesterday. If anyone judges, comments, eye rolls, at your body, or what you choose to wear…know this…THEY ARE FUCKING INSECURE and PROJECTING THAT SHIT ONTO YOU…don’t let them take your power, your knowing of who you are and what makes you happy. Here’s the thing, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about YOUR body, it’s your fucking body and you are in it for a reason. If you can’t love your body, as it is, right now…start, it’s an integral part of self-care and self-love and it starts right where your at. Not where you want to be, or intend to be…now. If you can’t love it right this fucking minute, than you’re never going to love it as you imagine it to be, so it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks, does it?
An unexpected kickstart to Eddy’s Happiness Project
As I wrote in my last blog, My American Bulldog, Eddy, passed away suddenly of a heart attack. He was only seven and a half, and this loss has been terrible on me, and on everyone else who loved him. I’ve spent a lot of time crying, which I think is really normal, but as I was going through photos of him (I’m so glad I took so many!) I started to think about what Eddy cared about. I mean, he was a dog. He wanted food, he wanted walks, and he wanted love. However, his favorite thing was when his family was together and we were all happy. He wasn’t smart, but this guy knew how to spread love. It was hard to be in a bad mood with him around because he was always such a joyful boy.
I decided that the best way for me to honor Eddy’s memory is to find joy and bring it to others. I plan on doing a lot of journaling and beginning each day with meditation while I walk in nature and writing down my gratitudes each day. I figured I’d start Monday, because I like to start things on Mondays, and my journals will arrive from Amazon on Monday as well.
For some reason, I woke up at 6 am feeling better than I have in weeks. Maybe feeling better than I have, physically, in months. I got up, stretched, puttered around the house until just before seven, then grabbed Thor and his leash and decided to start our walks today instead of Monday.
As the little man and I cruised through the neighborhood, looking at the beauty of the Superstition Mountains, we were both deep in thought. Thor was thinking about how cool it was to be able to pee in 634 different places. I was thinking about how odd it felt to walk without Eddy, of course, but I was also feeling grateful for a beautiful, cool morning and that I had my Thor to love. I was thinking that today was as good of a day as any to start spreading happiness to myself and others.
I blog under the name Selfish Mitch, because being selfish has always been a quality I’m aware of, and it certainly hurts some relationships when I’m not living in self awareness and trying to be my best self. If I get stressed or angry, that’s the trait that comes through a lot. Still, when I was diagnosed with chronic illness, I realized it was kind of great that I was born with the innate ability to say “no” to other people and things in my life that don’t serve me. Saying no to others and saying yes to ourselves is actually a big problem for a lot of women, healthy and ill alike, and it’s why so many of us feel frazzled. Women often give, give, and give before we tend to ourselves, which leads to feeling tired, grumpy, unhappy, and unappreciated. It’s honestly one of the reasons AK and I started this blog–to share our journeys of self love and self care as we try to find balance with the world. Still, I’ve been sad and stressed and not feeling well for quite a while, and I realized that I’ve really just been focusing on me too much. Being a little selfish is good. Being super selfish isn’t.
Yes, Eddy’s Happiness Project is about bringing happiness to myself, but a big part of it is purposefully spreading joy to others. As Thor and I were walking around we were both happy. I haven’t felt well enough in the morning to walk him around the neighborhood, so he was thrilled to explore. I was feeling grateful for my body and mind feeling healthy, grateful for a beautiful day, and I started thinking of how I could give back this week. I didn’t have any brainstorms, but there I was, on an unscheduled walk, and all of a sudden a skinny little pup without a collar came up to me. He looked like a chihuahua mix, and he let me pick him up right away. I looked around for an owner, and didn’t see one anywhere. We were pretty close to home, so I picked the little dude up and carried him home. He instantly found Thor’s food and water and filled his belly. I let them play while I grabbed my phone and tried to find his owners. Sure enough, the night before, someone had posted a picture of him on nextdoor.com. They went out to dinner last night, and when they came home their front door, side gate, and garage were wide open, and their little Max was gone.
They’d been up until 3 am looking for him. They thought that either the person who broke into their home took him, or he’d run away scared. He’s 8 years old and they’ve only recently adopted him from a rescue group, and he doesn’t know his name yet. We also live in an area where coyotes are known to grab cats and small dogs, so they were beside himself.
It’s just nuts to me that I woke up feeling amazing and somehow decided to go for a walk, during which I was brainstorming ideas to spread happiness around, and I was out at just the right time to find Max. He was standing in the middle of one of the busiest streets in my neighborhood. I hear you, Universe. I hear you Eddy. I was propelled into the right place at the right time to make a couple weep with joy. How amazing is that?
One other thing: a couple of days I turned off my Facebook notifications on my phone. It’s a huge distraction getting alerts pinging on my phone all day long. Once I got home, showered, and opened my computer to handle incoming calls for my real estate team, I did check facebook quickly and a new friend, who happens to be a fellow Poshmark seller, posted that she gave away some furniture to a family that had lost everything and asked if anyone could help. Since I have so much stuff that I’m reselling (650+ active listings on Poshmark, probably 300 more items to list) I will usually help by donating clothes. The other seller and I got into a dialogue about her idea to do classes for low income women to teach them about reselling. That’s another project I could get behind. It could seriously make a huge difference in the lives of families struggling to get by, and it wouldn’t take much of my time.
It’s just amazing what happens when you send signs into the Universe and you have clear intentions. I feel like I manifested two different ways to spread happiness just by going out into nature and asking for what I want. I never feel more spiritually connected than when I’m out in nature, and today was a huge sign that I’m headed in the right direction. Right now, I am happy.
Thank you, Eddy. I promise I’ll honor you forever.
Hey all, I hope this blog finds you well and moving smoothly through these intense energies. I had a great few days and felt I was rolling through Lion’s Gate (which ends today) then, the Ascension Flu (yes, there is such a thing). Body aches, hot/cold, nausea, you know the drill…only this is not viral related…it is triggered by ascension so the body can purge to be able to hold high vibrational energy on the daily. It’s fucking crazy, but true…I am merging my high vibrational light into this 3D reality…and I know I”m going through it now to guide others when they’re time comes. Whether anyone likes it, or not, it’s coming…the mass raising of human consciousness. Learning the chakra system, mediating, getting tarot readings, reiki, using crystals, grounding…all this shit I write about will become, for most, daily spiritual practices. They will become essential to functioning in a 4D reality.
So, there are a few last random things I’d like to share about the chakras. Chakra work doesn’t just have to happen when meditating, it aligns in yoga, food you eat, clothes you wear, using crystals/stones that align can work amazing magic. I am not all about recreating the damn wheel, so I’ll attach a shit ton of links and post info on the FB page (Oh My Goddess) and am planning on sharing my practices and tools I use to show my self love and stay aligned with the Divine. Anyways, the colors of the chakras are the key to figuring out what to eat, clothing and crystals. You can use colored candles, incense, aromatherapy, essential oils…I think you get the idea.
My daily yoga flow covers all of the chakras and it is fucking powerful shit, you guys. I have had days when certain poses open the chakra and I am overcome with releasing. I have a blog planned, dedicated solely to my experiences, love of yoga. Of course I do, I have a fucking ton of blogs to put out, lol. Anyways, yoga is all about aligning mind, body and spirit, it is as much a spiritual practice, as a form of exercise. You can use yoga poses to work on physical symptoms associated with each chakra, as well as, internal releasing. I can think of one time specifically that I was in a child pose and out of nowhere I was sobbing, so fucking hard, aching, heart breaking heavy sobs…I had no idea where it came from, still don’t, but it clearly need to be released and I let it. Child Pose is associated with the throat chakra, knowing this leads me to believe it was something abut not speaking my truth, this was a few months ago and I was still feeling pretty confused about my new path. Lately, it’s been my lower chakras.
In November 2016, I fell and fucked my ankle up…bad, the surgeon said it would have been better if I broke it. It was at the end of my Dark Night of the Soul (another day, lol), part of spiritual awakening, and I now know it was the physical manifestation of being completely broken on the inside. I was spiritually, mentally, financially,emotionally and now physically broke as fuck. After months of pills, rescheduled appointments and giving up on physical therapy, I gave up on healing my ankle, did the best I could (totally overcompensating on the other ankle, of course) and began focusing on healing my shit on the inside. June 2017, I began my daily mediation practice and within days felt guided to start yoga. Long story short for now, chakras are the focus here…starting yoga began my journey of healing my physical body. Lately, many aches are from this old ass injury and I am totally realigning my physical body. A client of mine is a yoga instructor and she gave me the best tip: breathe breath into outer ankle to inner ankle, on the exhale imagine all four corners of your foot stable on the ground…holy shit, the amount of healing changing how I balance my weight through my ankles & feet has been off the charts, but not going to lie…fucking painful, my physical body is deep in discomfort. Although , it kinda feels good, knowing it’s bringing something better…an aligned, bad ass body for this soon to be 43 year old is worth some pain and discomfort. All of this happens to align to my root and sacral chakra…poses I do for this are Mountain Pose (root, also great for grounding) and the painfully exquisite Pigeon Pose (sacral, also great for hip opening). I’ve cried releasing in the Pigeon Pose, as well…I’m a crier, y’all…good, bad, it doesn’t fucking matter…I’m a heart on my sleeve goddess and I embrace it.
A few last random thoughts on the chakras: I may have not mentioned the most commonly blocked chakras for men are the upper chakras (throat, 3rd eye and Crown), opposite in feminines (big fucking shocker there).
Pangs, pains, aches and twitches in your physical body are usually your chakras communicating with you. The area will align to the chakra…headaches, 3rd Eye and/or Crown…most people just ignore these subtle ways our spirit and body communicate with our mind. Sadly, programming has left most completely unaware of this. Hopefully, we will begin teaching chakras in schools, as they should be taught at a young age…they would be if I had my own school.
I think that’s about all I got in me for the chakra series. I hope it’s been informational and helpful. Please reach out if you have any questions, or need guidance. Not sure what’s coming next, but that pretty much sums up my whole fucking life. Have an amazing day, loves!
Peace Love & Light to You All
P.S. I’ll check in with my chakra test results next week.
I was going to do these separately, but they both came when I was out of town for a few days, so I thought it would be great to open them at the same time and see what we’re working with. Both boxes are $10 a month with free shipping, and it’s a fun, inexpensive way to spoil myself and try things I’d probably never pick up in the store.
Which box did you prefer? What piece did my puppy steal?
I also talk about self care and why it’s so vitally important. It’s important for everyone, but the way AK feeds her soul is very different from the way I feed mine, and my neighbors and other girlfriends do something completely different. We’re here to give you ideas, but you don’t have to do what we do. Find what works for your life; find what sets fire to your soul, and do that.
FUUUUUUCK, let me clear my throat…actually, saying Fuck is a great way to clear your Throat Chakra. This turquoise chakra is located at the center of your throat and controls your ability to be confident, speak clearly and the hardest listen to others’ truths, with no judgement. Looking back, I’ve gone back and forth between being balanced, overactive and blocked…that’s me a fucking walking contradiction. ‘Tis a real thing for Empaths, as we absorb the energy around us when we are not in balance. A balanced Empath knows how to control the energy, put out rather than let in…it’s pretty fucking cool how powerful we all are once we understand that we are energetic beings. Writing this blog is one way I keep a balanced throat chakra, as all forms of communication flow through this chakra.
As always, I’m going to keep it real…I have absolutely had an overactive throat chakra throughout different times in my life. How do you know if this chakra is overactive, AK? Well, let me tell you…opinionated, loud, critical, gossipy, talks over others, uses harsh words…sound familiar to you? It certainly pertains to me. Ugh, hard to accept that I absolutely acted in these ways…kind of makes me cringe. Yet, I can’t get mad at myself, there were so many things I didn’t know and programming is a motherfucker. So, I have accepted that part of me and work everyday to be better, balanced, always coming from a place of pure love. Feminines have been programmed to behave this way, this shit is everywhere…the belief that we must compete against each other, put each other down to build ourselves up is disgusting and it is up to us to stop it.
Not only have I acted out in these ways, but being the child of a narcissist, harsh words, judgments and criticism are all things I experienced (and still do) on the daily. One of the hardest boundaries I’ve had to set is not talking to my mother. Every time I talk to her I am put down, dismissed and made to feel inadequate. It fucking sucks, y’all…to be so aware of what’s happening (she’s projecting her own insecurities and fears onto me) and accept that that’s just the way it’s going to be. This is my truth…I will never have the mother I so desperately wanted. How do I transmute this pain from a place of pure love? I am grateful that she taught me how not to be a mother. As a mother, I am the exact opposite and am at peace knowing this. Listen, I love my mother, I love everyone, but that doesn’t mean I have to put up with verbal and emotional abuse, I choose to set boundaries that protect my energy, as fucking hard as it can be.
Then there’s the flip side, the blocked Throat Chakra. Yup, been there, too…this one more recently because for me, I have always blocked my truth from others. When you know at a young age that you are different, that you scare people and know things that others don’t understand, you tend to become a people-pleaser to just make everyone happy. This happens to more children than you think, as all children are psychic and more aware of the non-physical. It is a common trait among children and adults of Narcissist abuse. I’ll write a more in depth blog about that soon. So, when one has a blocked throat chakra, they are unable to express themselves, misunderstood, secretive and not very good a listening. Listening is a fucking BIG one for me. I read people at a soul level, when they talk I don’t always listen to their words because I am feeling and receiving information about them on an energetic level, through my psychic abilities. It’s a tough one, folks and one I work on daily. I’ve also come to the awareness that most people never really listen to each other. Most seem to listen just to reply, in fact they have a reply before you even finish what the fuck you were saying. Again, I’m guilty of this, but awareness of the problem is the way to better yourself. I believe it is hard for humans, because of programming, to listen to ourselves, as well…our true selves, our higher selves, our souls. The truth can be fucking brutal and we have been conditioned to blame and play victim instead of taking responsibility, be accountable for our own shit.
When the 5th chakra is overactive/blocked, you may physically feel: a sore, scratchy throat, stiff neck, swollen glands, tooth/gum problems and hearing problems. Ears and throat are most definitely connected. Also, this chakra is usually blocked because of experiences (such as my own) from childhood moments/experiences. I’ve done a shit ton of childhood regressions, through Tarot and meditation, that have helped me heal from those experiences and in turn, heal my Throat Chakra. Keeping it real, it was fucking brutal work. I’m telling you all, total truth, getting to place of self love is the hardest fucking thing to do…but, the reward of living a free, fulfilled life…no better gift you can give yourself. Another thing about this chakra is what you think and say is your Karma and I have definitely paid some major Karmic debt for the shitty, judgmental, gossipy bullshit I put out there. Whether this lifetime, or another, your Karma will have to be repaid.
Clearly, my Throat chakra is flowing today, but I will end here. Recently, my channeling has taken a shift and I am being guided to act as a Divine Feminine Oracle, to inspire, empower and guide all feminines to heal and love themselves…the journey is tough, but so are you, beautiful souls. Please do not hesitate to reach out in any way…you are never alone and loved more than you know.
Peace Love and Light
Divine Warrior Goddess
P.S. I have so much to share about the Chakra system, that after I go through each one, there will be a few more tied to yoga, crystals, etc. I will also be posting memes and infographics on our FB page (Oh My Goddess), so like/follow etc.
Spoiler alert: I think so. I still have my ipsy to unbox, but I’m trying to train myself to be a little more patient. Waiting for things falls under that category, yeah?
Tell us what you think in the comments. What’s the best part of this box? Also, I don’t have a discount code here because apparently 6 youtube views don’t make you an “influencer” (!!I’m Shocked!!) but if you google you can find one. I think this one is worth it.
All right, another gift from me to me! I think I was expecting a little more out of Birchbox since I’d heard such great things, but I reminded myself that it was $10 to try things I usually wouldn’t have the opportunity to try. I am not going to go out and buy full sizes of everything they send me. I’m just looking for a few products that I love and want to invest in.
Here ya go. Oh, and if you’d like me to review anything else, just let me know. I’m always up for it. I’d like to get my spiritual sister/blog partner/bff to do a review of something soon so I’m checking out things I can send her, so suggestions for either of us are appreciated.
I’m linking to this commercial since they don’t have a share feature, probably because, as I’ve recently found, it’s being flamed on the internet. I’m not the only one that thinks it’s terrible.
It starts out with a young woman staring forlornly in a mirror in a tank top, scratching her red, patchy skin, cancelling plans on the phone and saying, “It’s just my eczema. It’s fine. It’s fine.”
Then we cut to a scene where she’s wearing a long sleeve shirt, maybe in her workplace or a library, itching again, and some dude looks at her with an expression that I read as “WTF,” but could be “Eww…” or “How you doin’, baby?” because I’m pretty bad at guessing what men are thinking. But she once again says, “Eczema, it’s fine.”
Then we transition to a scene at what appears to be an outdoor restaurant, and our sad skin sufferer is bundled up in a jean jacket. This is also where we realize Sis looks like a young Katherine Heigl but prettier (on the outside but I can assume on the inside as well).
Then her friend with a gorgeous complexion sits down at the table wearing a little tank top and asks Itchy Katherine Jr. if she’s hot, and of course we learn that it’s eczema and it’s fine. Of course. Well. The friend is NOT having it. She whips her tablet out before the server can even come by to see if they want wine. (I actually want wine just talking about this, FYI.)
The friend is all hyped about this commercial she saw for “Eczema Exposed,” and suggests that Hurting Heigl has a special kind of inflammatory dermatitis and she should go ask her doctor about this.
The patient in the commercial looks like, “Oh, wow! I’ve never heard of this before! I mean, I have to rearrange my personal life, my wardrobe, the co-workers who are willing to sit next to me, and everything else around this shitty disease, but it never occured to ask my doctor if there were any treatments around. I would have never thought to do any of my own research about my own condition. Thanks, Karen!” (You know that betch is named Karen.)
The complaints that most people have is that it’s annoying, that most people wouldn’t keep saying, “It’s fine (sigh.)” I have a different perspective. I am living with five different chronic illnesses. The ones that really keep me from living the life I’d love to have are Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis. There were two days last week that I was essentially bedridden because of the swelling of my joints. Since I’m living this life, I have a different perspective.
I can’t tell you how many well meaning friends have said really stupid shit to me. I’m an intelligent, educated woman and I do research on random subjects for hours because it amuses me, so of course I’m always checking on new research and development relating to what’s going on in my body. I’m 42 years old, and I’ve been living with chronic illness for almost 1/4 of my life, and the thing about chronic illnesses is that there is no cure. There are remissions sometimes, but at this point, there is no cure. Therefore, when someone comes at me to tell me that I should try what their sister’s mom’s best friend’s dog sitter swears by, my gut reaction is to be hurt and a little bit offended. I don’t know everything about autoimmune; far from it, but I have a good grasp on the basics of diagnostic procedures and criteria, medications, and harmful and helpful holistic treatments, etc. The sad reality, though, is that doctors, while knowing 500 times more than what I know,don’t know what causes autoimmune disorders. They don’t even agree on how many different disorders there are, and they know that what works for one patient can send another into a severe flare. It’s just a frustrating situation all around, and as patients, we do a lot of research and trial and error (a shit-ton of error, TBH) both as prescribed by our doctors, and on our own. Telling me that if I just tried probiotics I wouldn’t have this disease feels like you’re directly insulting my intelligence. I know you don’t mean it that way, but I can’t help the way I feel. And it’s not just you. Take your hurtful comment and add it to the ones we regularly receive from everyone else in our lives, and it gets old fast. Do you think that I haven’t done that research? Trust me, Babe, I could talk for over an hour about inflammatory foods, gut health, and give you a pretty well developed outline idea of some of the leading theories.
I also have my team of doctors; most of them specialists, who have completed at least 13 years of post-secondary education and different residencies and fellowships. I may do a great deal of research on my own, but what I know about the scientific aspects of my disorders will never come close what my specialists know. I doubt that the information you’re bringing me, even if it’s from a TV commercial for a new pill from a pharmaceutical company, isn’t going to be new information to me.
I’m fairly certain that at this point, you think I’m overreacting. I shouldn’t have my feelings hurt or be offended by people that are trying to help. If it only happened once in a while, it might not be so annoying. That’s simply not the case.
I’ve had friends tell me that marijuana cures Lupus. It doesn’t, but for some patients it can alleviate some of the symptoms. I’m all for legalization, but it’s not something that has been beneficial to me. Someone else told me that I need to do yoga. This falls under the, “Do you think that I have not tried that?” category. When I’m not in a flare, I actually love working out. It’s excellent therapy for me, mentally and physically. So yes, I’ve tried yoga. I do it on purpose when I’m able.
Another thing I do not require is your essential oils. Listen. I’m happy for you if essential oils work for you. I haven’t found them helpful beyond their pleasing aromas. Lavender smells quite nice and I do find it relaxing. However, I’ve had MLM oil salespeople tell me to ingest different oils or use them transdermally. Oils can actually be quite dangerous if you’re drinking them (yes, even just a drop or two) or letting them be absorbed through your skin, particularly if they have a bad reaction with pharmaceutical medications the patient is taking to literally save her life. Simply reading the pamphlet that came with your Young Living starter kit doesn’t qualify you to prescribe things to anyone.
I can’t believe that I haven’t gotten to multilevel marketing (MLM) friends yet. There are so many people who have told me that their upline’s friend was able to cure her thyroid condition with this miracle Arbonne or It Works! or Isagenix. I promise you…if an actual cure for a chronic disease was discovered, it would not be sold by a multi level marketing company. One of the most promising treatments that has come out recently to treat autoimmune disorders is a biologic, which runs up to $7500 per month. One thing you can take to the bank is that companies who create new, promising, life changing drugs for the chronically ill don’t sell them for $70 a month and make it a part time business opportunity for a soccer mom to reach #fianancialfreedom.
I can say that I personally feel better with the vitamin packets from Le-vel Thrive, but that’s purely anecdotal. Other vitamins, particularly those high in Vitamin C or containing echinacea can be harmful to me. We don’t want to boost an immune system that is actively trying to kill me, thanks.
I had another friend tell me that I just need to get up at the same time every day, no matter how I feel, make my bed, and decide that it’s going to be a good day. Yes, let me give that a go after pain woke up up 8 times last night, my joints in my ankles, feet, and toes are so swollen and painful that I needed my husband to get me out of bed and let me hold on to him while I walked to the bathroom. My #1 concern on days like that should be throw pillows being perfectly placed. I get the power of positive thinking, and I listen to personal development videos and read books about mindset, but that’s not going to cut it with a disease that can make my immune system attack my joints, kidneys, liver, brain, or whatever else it feels like taking out.
I’m in a few facebook groups for people with chronic illnesses. It’s really helpful to have someone to talk to who gets it. We recently had a conversation about different things people have tried to sell us on. We call it “woo,” a general term for anecdotal evidence, old wives’ tales, hearsay, pseudoscience, and just plain crazy. Again, we understand that you mean well, but frankly, do better. Here are some of my favorites from that thread.
Do you really have a neurological disorder though? Aries tend to get headaches more than the other signs. (No comment necessary.)
There’s a parasite you can intentionally eat that will remove autoimmune disease. (The fuck?)
Bathing in malt vinegar once a week will cure celiac. (Again. What the fuck.)
The pain and muscle fatigue get better if you just push through it. (From a weightlifter friend. Our deep muscle fatigue has a different cause than yours, and requires different treatment. Taking this advice could land us in the hospital.”
If you accept Jesus into your heart you will be cured. (Funny, because there are lots of Christians, and people of every other faith, who die of chronic illness all the time.) The same person claimed that eating boiled cabbage would cure this patient. (So maybe it’s a combination of cabbage and Jesus? Is there a recipe?)
Prayer in general. If we are not religious people and you know this, this advice feels more like judgement than anything else.
Sleeping with onions in your socks. (OK but why?)
Juice Cleanses! (This can be dangerous for healthy people. It could put us in the hospital too.)
Reprogramming your brain with positive energy! You can walk on hot coals if you get your mind right! (Some of us can’t walk across carpet.)
Going gluten free/dairy free/nightshade free/paleo etc. (Again. Works for some, but not for others. This is not really terrible advice, but if you think we haven’t tried it, you’re wrong. I personally do feel much better if I stay gluten free and limit dairy, sugar, and soy. That’s just me though.)
Just say NO to Big Pharma! All those pills you take are makig you sick! (Listen, we understand as well as anyone, if not better, how deeply problematic the pharmaceutical industry is. However, some of us are only alive because of Western medical science. If there were alternatives that worked as well as our prescriptions do,particularly without the expense and side effects, we’d be all over it.
You’d feel better if you lost some weight. (Yeah. We know. However, some of us are on medications that make us gain weight but keep us alive. Some of us aren’t ambulatory. Some of us have conditions like PCOS that make losing weight nearly impossible.)
You can see how a constant stream of this could be annoying. Do you know what we’d love to hear though? Here are some ideas.
“How have you been feeling lately? I’ve been thinking of you.” (I personally think it’s nice when a religious friend says they’ve been praying for me, even though I don’t believe in prayer. If they do, it’s meaningful to them, so I appreciate it. Just don’t try to convert me. Other non-believers can be offended if you know they’re not religious and you bring it up, so it’s probably a good idea to simply ask them if they’re comfortable with you praying for them.
“Would you mind telling me more about ___________ (their chronic illness)? I feel like a lot of the information I’ve found online is confusing or conflicting.” This can show us that you’ve tried to learn about what we’re going through without trying to push the remedy du jour at us. We’re not going to judge you for saying the information online is confusing or conflicting, especially if we’re dealing with autoimmune disorder, because theories are all over the place.
“Do you want to come over and watch a movie this weekend at my place? ”
“I was thinking it might be fun if I brought us some lunch and we hung out at your place and just relaxed.” This is so lovely, really. Having a chronic illness can be really isolating. For me, personally, I am married, have a child, and two businesses. I miss going out and living it up with my friends, and just having that girl time connection or spending time with couples or groups of friends that my husband and I used to hang out with with, but my priorities have to be keeping a roof over my head. Going out on the town sounds fun, but it might be too draining for me right now. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss my friends. I have one girlfriend who invites me over to just hang out with her and her 2 year old daughter. We’ll talk, snack, watch movies, or play on Snapchat making videos with the kiddo. That kind of social interaction charges my batteries instead of draining them.
“Is there anything I can do to help? Can I bring you dinner one night, take your kids to the community pool when I take mine so you can get a break? Can I drive you to a doctor’s appointment for your next procedure?” Several of us have minor procedures fairly regularly that involve partial anesthesia and we need someone to drive us or we have to suck it up and deal with that 11″ needle in our spine unmedicated. Caveat to this: don’t offer unless you’re willing to do the thing and you actually want to. We don’t want you to resent us, and it’s perfectly OK if you can’t do anything to help us. We get it-you’re busy too. You have limits on your time, energy, and finances, and we totally understand.
“I saw a really annoying commercial about eczema the other day. The lady kept saying, “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. Is that the kind of eczema you have? How do you treat yours? How does it affect you? Does it flare and go into remission, or is it pretty constant? Also, you shouldn’t have to sweat it out in a jacket because of a medical condition. I love you and I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide with me, but if you’re more comfortable covering up I understand that too. Just don’t feel that you need to do so on my behalf.
That last one is how Karen should have started the conversation in the restaurant, if you ask me. It would let blondie know that she cares about her and she wants to learn more.
The reality is, we just want to be treated like people. Intelligent, whole, educated people. We LOVE that you’re thinking of us and wanting to learn more about our conditions. I have friends I used to be really close to that have never asked me about my illnesses. That’s OK. Some people aren’t meant to stay in our lives forever. That’s just the way life goes, and I have nothing but love for them and wish them well. But for those of you who are loyal, loving badasses and are still in our lives and read through this whole thing, THANK YOU. From the bottom of my black, sarcastic heart, I love you for reading this and wanting to learn.