This is a little different than some of the things we’ve done lately, but we thought it was important to discuss. We’re all about empowering women to live their best lives, and we don’t think that living by a book written by men thousands of years ago is going to get you there. There’s a new crop of young, pretty, privileged women on YouTube who are doing their best to spread the message of the patriarchy, and it’s dangerous af. These women seem to have never questioned their belief systems, and are trying to teach other women and girls to do the same. As we’ve said before, most of the people we know and love are Christians, but the people we love deeply are open minded and not afraid to have a discussion about their beliefs. They’re also not bigots, like Kristin and Bethany seem to be.
We’ve been doing more on YouTube lately, but I just realized we’ve been negligent on adding the videos to the blog. I’m going to remedy that today and post them from oldest to most recent. We’d love any feedback, and if you have topics you’d like us to cover, or anything you want to ask us, feel free!
Here’s a video we did on 4 Key Areas of Self Care.
We are so excited to introduce you to our newest Goddess, Kristina! She’s an amazing woman that I (Mitch) have been friends with for about 16 years, and she and Allison have recently gotten really close. We’re thrilled to bring her and her unique perspective on board.
Now that we’re all living in the same town, we decided it was time to start a Vlog series that is like a round table discussion. We’ll discuss a lot of different ideas, people, theories, philosophies, and, as always, we’ll keep it completely real with you.
We would love any feedback you have, as well as ideas for topics to address in future shows.
Quick disclaimer: We were supposed to have a fourth person yesterday who was going to handle the lighting and the recording for us, but she wasn’t able to make it. Instead of putting it off and not filming this week, we decided to work with what we had and make the best of it. That’s life, right? I took my phone mount out of my car and we mounted it on a box on the table and secured it with a little bit of scotch tape. My Montana McGuyver skills are still sharp. Youtube: Let Us Reintroduce Ourselves Part 1
I didn’t really write out goals for 2018. I didn’t do a vision board, I didn’t do a blog, I didn’t even drunkenly scribble anything on a napkin at 11:55 on New Year’s Eve, which would totally be my style.
2017 actually went pretty damn well for me. I lost a ton of weight, I was doing pretty well in my career, my kid graduated from high school, and things were overall pretty good. I figured I’d just roll that right into 2018 and keep it going, right?
That’s not how it works, folks; at least that’s not how it works for me. I feel like we are fed a lot of bullshit both by people we know and the media about how people just kind of sail along in life with everything coming easy. Most people, even really good people, are really full of ego and afraid to admit when they stumble and when things are really hard for them. I think we don’t even want to admit it to ourselves when we fail, especially if we really fuck it up. We sure don’t want to admit it to anyone else! I get that we want to project our best selves on social media and to people we don’t know very well. In fact, I tend to skip over posts on social media by some people who are always bitching about one thing or another. I feel like it’s kind of a balance, and social media gets really toxic really fast, especially in today’s world. I made a decision to keep my social media positive but real a long time ago, especially since I use it for business as well. Let’s face it, folks, we’re not going to change the world by arguing with strangers or people you haven’t seen in a decade on Facebook. That’s not a thing. If people don’t think you care about them, they’re not going to care what you have to say. I feel like it’s possible to make someone smile or laugh, or even motivate them with a positive post, but calling someone a “libtard snowflake” or a “racist Republikkkan” isn’t getting us anywhere, and almost everything devolves into a shitstorm in the comment section. Peace out, social media comments.
We need to make real connections, and pick our PEOPLE, and keep it totally real with these people. Call them on the phone. See them in person. Hang out, via facetime or by going to lunch. Share your struggles and share your victories. Mourn your losses and celebrate your successes. Build that network of people you love and who love you, and love honestly and without restraint.
It wouldn’t be this blog if I didn’t remind you that you need to be the person on the top of that list. Love yourself like crazy, but be honest with yourself at the same time. I’m taking some time to reflect this week over my 2018. There were some great things that happened for and to me this year, and I also had some devastating losses. I was lifted up and I was knocked down by myself, by people, and by the universe. That’s how it goes. I’m really focusing on feeling the losses and the knock downs as a way to really reflect about how I could have handled them differently. Some of my problems were caused by me, so I need to be aware of that. Some of them were factors out of my control, but I CAN reflect on how I reacted to things.
I think it’s really important to recognize the darkness for what it is and was so that you can truly appreciate the light. How did you get out of darkness? Did you let it slide into your being this year like I did?
This is the time for reflection. This is the time to realize that we can’t really appreciate the absolute highs unless we recognize and deal with the lows.
I’ll be coming at you with a goals blog in the next couple of days, because I believe more than ever that goals and intentions are super important. But for now, I invite you to take a little time to think, cry, feel, and scream. Feel the lows, then we’ll workshop how to handle them going forward.
-Love, light, and very temporary storm clouds,
Oh, hey there. It’s been a while. I’ve been out of sorts. I had a couple more medication changes that fucked me up quite a bit in the past several months, and I kind of hit a wall in my career, personal development, and my relationship, and I certainly didn’t give myself time to grieve the loss of my dog properly. I was exhausted, depressed, and totally unmotivated. I gave zero shits for way too long, and now I’m trying to find my path back to the person I want to be; the best version of myself. I’ve found, though, that I spent way too much time and energy trying to make myself want things that were no longer what was best for me. I was trying so hard to convince myself that my goals should be the same as they were in the past that I didn’t take time to evaluate if those were still things I wanted. I went down a rabbit hole only to finally realize that if I’d achieved those goals, I wouldn’t be happy anyway. I needed to acknowledge that goals change as we do, because it’s tough to let go of things, and that’s totally OK.
It’s hard for me to blog here when I’m not feeling myself, honestly. Our mission is to help women live their best lives, and I was certainly not living mine. Nowhere close. I guess I was practicing self care, if self care looks like eating cookie dough out of a tub. (I mean, I think it CAN look like that, once in a great while, but let’s be honest. Doing it fairly regularly isn’t self care. It’s self harm.) Who the hell was I to help guide anyone else? I was a hot mess. What I guess I really lost sight of, though, is that I’m a woman, and if we’re trying to help women live their best lives, why was I uncomfortable starting with myself? I’m pretty sure there are plenty of people out there going through the same things I am, or who could learn from my journey.
Part of it is that it’s really hard to be totally raw and honest online. The Pinterest/Instagram/Blogosphere corner of the internet is full of people with photoshopped and glossed over lives. I don’t blame anyone for wanting to put their best foot forward, especially in a cruel world full of strangers who sometimes want to make themselves feel better by taking other people down. I find that women, especially, fall into this pattern of behavior. When you’re miserable and things aren’t going your way, it’s a hell of a lot easier to lash out and judge other people than to turn the mirror on ourselves. I know I’ve been guilty of that toxic practice. The nickname Mitch the Bitch didn’t come from thin air. I wear the label “Bitch” proudly when I use my skills to stand up for myself and for people and ideals I love. I’m not so proud if I use it to personally attack people. It doesn’t make me better, it doesn’t make them better, and it doesn’t make the world a better place.
It’s equally as bad when I use my elevated skills of verbal decimation on myself, whether I say it out loud, or I say it inside my head. I’m always up for a good self deprecating joke, honestly, and that will probably never change, but I need to be a lot kinder to myself when I stumble. I need to be a lot more honest with myself, as well. A character trait I’m not terribly fond of is my all or nothing, zero to sixty in ten seconds personality. It’s great to ramp myself up and throw myself into something I care about or to reach towards a goal, but it’s a train wreck when I don’t allow myself room for moderation or failure.
Be real; who else does this? We say, “I stayed on my diet for three days then I ate some fries, so I’ll start again Monday,” or, “I really wanted to start blogging again, and I wrote a couple I’m pretty happy with, but then I ran out of time and motivation and now I look stupid because who the hell wants to follow me?”
The answer to failure shouldn’t be, “Fuck it!” if it’s something you really want. If it’s something that you think will make you really happy, start again today. Commit again right now, and if you stumble, start again right away. Don’t give up, but forgive yourself if you don’t succeed and follow the path that you thought would lead you to your goal. My goal is pretty simple. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to be the best version of myself and I want to help other women do the same. For me, that’s going to require nothing but pure honesty, self love and acceptance, and accountability. I’m going to be honest with myself and right here on this blog. I’m going to love myself to identify self destructive behavior, take some time to analyze why I did it, and find a better way to reach my goals when I start again. I’ve found that what we sometimes think will make us happy isn’t really what we originally think it is. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the minutia of what we are trying to do that we don’t take time along the way to reevaluate and make sure that the place we’re going is still the destination we want to reach.
So here I go again, but not on my own. I have AK and my family, and other amazing, strong friends and mentors to love me and guide me, and maybe I have you. You have me if you need me. Reach out. I don’t care who you are, or where you are in your process. You don’t have to be spiritually awakened, because I know I’m not there yet. You don’t have to know exactly what you want or how the hell to get there, but if you’re reaching for something and you’re not content, hit me up. I’m actually a lot better at advice for other people than I am for myself. Even if I can’t help, I will almost always say something ridiculous and make you laugh and see things from a different perspective.
When we started this blog, I had a clear idea of what I wanted to do here, of what my role should be, and really, what I thought I wanted and what I thought would make me happy. Some of that is still right, and some of that has changed, but I promise, it’s OK to figure it out as you go along. Don’t stay committed to things that don’t serve you. Seriously, knock it off. If you made a goal to run a marathon but you keep injuring yourself, that might not be the right goal for you. There are other ways to get fit and strong. I’m not saying to divorce your husband or quit your job right now, especially if you love them and see a way forward and a future with them that could be fulfilling. I am saying that the way forward might look different than you thought it would, and you need to be open to that.
I have a lot more to say. I want to talk about spirituality and the divine feminine, and I started this blog to talk about gratitude. I’m going to write about both soon, but this is what came out right now and I’m not second guessing it. This needed to come out for a reason, so here it is. You’ll see the good, the bad, the ugly, and the utterly ridiculous here, so strap in for the ride.
Love, light, forgiveness, and an appropriate amount of cookie dough,
Hey all! In typical AK fashion, I have gone hermit mode…again. I’m back though and feeling amazing! The past 2 months of my ascension journey have been intense, some days brutal, but I am grateful for it all. November has always been one of my favorite months, Thanksgiving my favorite holiday. A few years ago, my cousin and I posted for the entire month, things we were grateful for. I want to bring that back, so I’m going to start a 30 day/November gratitude challenge with y’all and our FB/IG/YouTube followers. Everyday I’ll post and hope you will comment and share the amazing gifts in your life.
The fall of 2016 was the darkest point in my life. Dark Night of the Soul is experienced during awakening, where all the shit comes crashing down. This can be triggered in many ways…trauma, near-death experiences, etc…for me, it was the separation from my Twin Flame. The pain of losing my person, the heart of my heart, soul of my soul was like the sun disappearing, there was nothing but darkness. Needless to say, I was not feeling grateful for much 2 years ago.
January of 2017 was the year of my awakening. I came out of the dark and began the work of finding the light. That spring I was guided to information on the power of gratitude and I began practicing giving thanks daily. Not that I hadn’t in the past, I was raised saying grace before dinner and to always say thank you, but looking back, it was inauthentic, programmed and done out of duty more than genuinely feeling grateful. It felt silly at first, to wake up and say thank you for this new day, to eat slowly, savoring every bite as I said thank you for the food, to give thanks for a hot shower, comfortable bed, roof over my head, the sound of birds chirping, the rain (doesn’t happen much in the desert). I literally spent as many moments as I could just being grateful…for every fucking thing…the sun, music, clean water, my children (even when they were driving me bat-shit crazy), clothes, money for gas, my car that got me to work, my career as a teacher (even though I was beginning to see it was not for me anymore)…you get the idea. Around April, I was beginning to really feel happy, from the inside…I can honestly say it was fucking strange to feel happy, genuinely happy, but there was still work to do. I was still holding anger, resentment, guilt, shame for so much shit in my life and the people who inflicted their pain onto me. Like most of us, I was grateful for the blessings, but still holding low vibrations towards the people, and experiences, that hurt me. One major shift that happened though, is the more I practiced gratitude, the more present I became, the more the things I was grateful for happened…as within, so without…my focus shifted from lack perspective to an abundance mindset.
June of 2017 had me beginning a daily meditation and yoga practice, my awakening in full swing. I cannot tell you enough how absolutely transforming both are to mind, body and spirit. Neither are easy at first, like all things they take practice and commitment…over a year of yoga 5-6 days a week and it’s still not easy, but I am grateful for the challenge. I had also left the public school system I had taught in for 15 years and took a teaching position at a charter school, believing it was a better system for my very out of the box approach to teaching. I was so fucking wrong, so wrong…it was worse, more confining, more robot like, more conformist…all things that insult me at a soul level and I knew it was time to leave the education system. At this point in my Twin Flame journey, we were back to talking everyday, our partnership seemed to be heading in a positive direction, towards union, so I thought….man, I’ve thought a lot of things and awakening has shown me how absolutely fucking backwards we all are. I left teaching fucking angry…I was at peace with my decision, knowing that it wasn’t my place anymore, but fuck was I pissed at a system that I gave my heart and soul to that gave me nothing back. At this point, the Law of Giving and Receiving had become very clear and the awakening to the fact that our government systems were fucked up and don’t give a shit about me, or you, any of us really pissed me the fuck off. I left feeling an enormous amount of love and gratitude towards my students, but that was it. Today, I am so grateful for my teaching career, all of it…even the shitty ass education system that has taught me what we need to fix in this country, in all of our fucked up systems. I am grateful for the shitty pay, gave me another great lesson on giving and receiving…also, on how fucking deserving and worthy I am.
2018 has been my year of ascension, of doing the deepest soul work to transcend the 3D reality, to align with my higher self and evolve. The most work has been related to the lower chakras….releasing fear, guilt, shame, insecurities, etc…going deep to the root of those feelings, childhood & past life regressions to upgrade my DNA, to heal ancestral wounds that had been carried through generations, to heal all the shit all feminines carry, to move into full Unity & Christ consciousness. It has been brutal fucking work, but the blessings and blessons that have come from still blow my mind some days. The amount of self-compassion, forgiveness and love I have had to give myself , and in turn been able to give to others, has not been easy. I have had to move multiple times, had my car repo’d and lost many (so-called) friends. I have struggled to get my business up and running, failed at this blog and my YouTube channel, due to my own insecurities/fears…there have been massive lessons to learn from, but I am grateful for EVERY FUCKING THING, sounds crazy I know…homeless, jobless, broke, what the fuck should I be grateful for?
I have been humbled by the universe and it has given me the lessons needed to be the badass Empath I was born to be. It’s easy to be grateful for the blessings, the good shit that happens in life, but it is the blessons (blessings in the lessons) that are the greatest gifts.
I am grateful for the narcissists (my mother and Ex #2) in my life, they have taught me that there are others who carry far more pain than I. Can you imagine how badly someone must feel to inflict that pain onto others with no remorse? They have taught me how incredibly strong I am, to be able to withstand the pain inflicted and still have the capacity to love, to empathize, to find the light in the darkness. They have taught me, along with other shitty humans, how not to be, who not to be, to always rise above, to be better and do better. I am truly blessed to see my mother grow, through my ability to set boundaries and my insane self-respect. Ex #2 gave me my son and my Twin, I am grateful for his role to bring blessings into my life. Don’t get me wrong, I do not wish these people the best, I wish them to get what they deserve…not my problem, I’m letting the Universe and Karma do it’s thing.
I am grateful for my Twin and this crazy ass Twin Flame journey. He has been my mirror, my catalyst, to awakening, healing, soul liberation…to me…the authentic me and I know we are never separated. Every time he has run, hurt me has only been a reflection of him, his pain, fears and insecurities and strangely, it just makes me send more love, more light to him. There is no separation in this amazing universe…time, space, distance can never separate Twins, nor any of us for that matter.
I am grateful for losing possessions, they’re just things, stuff we carry around and cling to thinking it gives us safety, security, happiness…such a crock of programmed bullshit. There is NOT ONE FUCKING THING outside of you that will bring you the joy, peace, love we are all seeking. Guess what, I’m still here and I now am able to use my Empath superpowers in even more ways because I truly get the shit we all go through. It also showed me, who is important in my life. The people I should invest my energy into.
I am grateful for the family and friends that have bailed, they’ve only made space for better. The people who stick by you when the shit goes down, they’re the only ones you need…and I don’t give one flying fuck if it’s your parent, child, significant other, best friend…if they aren’t there when you need them the most let them fucking go…I promise, as scary as it is, it is for the best…for you to find your tribe, soul family…the people who see you, accept you and love you unconditionally. If the giving and receiving isn’t equal, bail the fuck out, you deserve better. Quality over quantity, loves, my dad taught me that.
So, let’s spread some love, light and gratitude this month. Let’s see ourselves in each other and be grateful for every breath we’re given. Each moment is a gift, a chance to be better and do better, for ourselves and each other. Follow us and our moth of gratitude not only here, but at akmitch1975 on Instagram, or I’m blackbirdoracle on IG/IGTV/YouTube (I do daily guidance readings on IGTV, if you feel guided to check it out). We will also post on our FB page…Oh My Goddess and are intending to get a video up soon on our YouTube channel…OhmMyGoddess. We are so fucking grateful for all the support…our followers here and the likes, subscribes, etc. on our social media.
Sending you all shit tons of love & light & gratitude
P.S. Like everything…the gratitude shift had to begin with me and I am so fucking grateful for me and the people, places and experiences that have contributed to where I am today.
If you don’t listen to the radio, read tabloids, or the internet, I’ll introduce Ariana Grande to you. She’s a pint sized singer who has had 10 songs chart in the top 10. She’s been nominated for several awards, and she’s only 25 years old. She got her start on a terrible Nickelodeon show, and has actually make the transition from child actor to adult singer successfully. Some of her songs are legit bops, and I’d kill for her voice and range. There are rumors that she’s a diva (sometimes deciding that she doesn’t want to walk and making her bodyguards carry her) and most of us saw the tape of her licking donuts.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about why I’m blogging about her. We’re not a gossip rag, but we do cover women’s issues, and this is one of them. Arianna’s last boyfriend was a rapper named Mac Miller. I’d never heard of him before his DUI earlier this year, that happened shortly after Ariana Grande broke up with him. Apparently, they’d been together for 2 years, and he was already an admitted addict before they got together. Yikes. I think women, especially when we’re young, have that attraction to a man, and even if he’s got issues, we go for it, certain that we can change them. Spoiler alert: you can’t. Your chances of changing a man for the long haul are slim to none. For any human to change an ingrained behavior, they have to admit that their behavior is a problem and they have to want to change. Yeah, it’s possible that your new man who is a sweetheart unless he’s drunk will make an effort to quit drinking for a while, especially if you’re around, because you ask him to. However, if he doesn’t see it as that big of a problem, he’s not going to change, especially if he’s an alcoholic.
Sometimes I read celebrity gossip when my husband wants me to be cleaning the house, which he thinks I need to change. He doesn’t understand how keeping the house looking perfect at all times isn’t something I care about. I think it would be lovely if I became a person who prioritized scrubbing tile floors and attacking clutter, but it’s not something I see changing. See how that works? In my mind, it’s not that important. I’m not a hoarder living in a shithole, but nobody’s coming to take photos of my perfectly decorated, sparkling crib anytime soon.
Back on topic. So Miller gets in an accident in May for a DUI. He wrapped his car around a pole and blew twice the legal limit. Several sources claim that the biggest factor in Grande’s decision to break up with Miller was his increasing substance abuse. She was in that relationship from the ages of 23-25. She stuck it out for a lot longer than I would hope any young woman I care about did. Miller admitted in many interviews that he had substance abuse issues. He admitted that he wrote and released an entire album with songs about cocaine. Now, do I think that a breakup can lead to an addict increasing the amount of drugs and alcohol he abuses? Absolutely! But do I think that Ariana Grande had any responsibility to stay in a shitty relationship with Miller, his drugs, and his booze? NO. I think the fuck not, and neither did she. This is the statement she released when the internet picked up their pitchforks and blamed her for his DUI.
Ah yes. Woman falls in love with toxic addict. She stays for a long time, supporting him and praying things would change. Surprise! He didn’t change, and eventually she bounced. He’s an adult human being with plenty of money for rehab. He chose not to go. I’m not in their relationship, but I can imagine there were plenty of talks about it. Promises to change. Ultimatums, controlling bullshit, tears, and more broken promises. If any other woman were living in that hell, I’d encourage her to get the fuck out. So, why is it that thousands and thousands of people have been tweeting at Ariana Grande that she’s a murder? That this is her fault? That she caused HIS drug and alcohol abuses? He was a grown ass man. He was a man with a terrible disease (as I believe addiction is) but ultimately we’re responsible for our choices and consequences as adults, especially if your choices hurt other people.
And there’s the rub. If you’re in a healthy serious relationship, your partner needs to be your priority. You don’t get to hurt your partner over and over again and expect them to stay. I can assure you that if I stopped managing my bipolar disorder, woke up every day and punched my husband in the face as hard as I could, then grabbed a baseball bat and hit him in the nuts with it whenever I had an opening, he’d leave me. I have a disease, but if I wasn’t treating it and I inflicted harm upon him every day because I chose not to fight it, my husband is under no obligation to stay with me and take the abuse.
Addicts can love you. Of course they can. They just can’t put you or your needs ahead of their addiction. If you let them, they’ll take your soul, they’ll take your money, they’ll crush your spirit, and then they’ll take more. I don’t think they want to hurt you, but if they’re actively using, they aren’t thinking about how their actions affect you, especially the combined effect of months or years of their bullshit. You will never be the priority in the life of the addict you love.
Why in the fuck would anyone blame a woman for getting out of a toxic relationship? Why? You can try to help a person, but if they refuse to help themselves, the abuse is going to keep on happening.
Now we live in a day and age when any nameless, faceless asshole can directly access celebrities on social media. Do they forget that there are actual human beings behind the @s and the #s? They can say things like,
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT,” “You lowkey evil,” “It’s crazy because you really did kill him,” and the most popular, “Fuck you, @arianagrande you did this.”
No, she didn’t do this. Miller did it. He abused drugs and alcohol to the point that the relationship couldn’t go on. Then he bought more drugs, he took them, and he died. It’s tragic. He was only 26 years and and had a lot of life left to live. He had friends, he had talent, and I’m sure he had a family, but addiction doesn’t care. He had a girlfriend who seems to have loved him, who said she supported him and prayed he’d get better, but she finally had enough. In her own words, she isn’t his babysitter or mother.
I don’t need to be a fan of her to say this. I say it as a human being who has addicts in her life; particularly addicts who have been enabled by others. Let me tell you: that doesn’t work either. Nothing will change until the addict wants to change. Ariana bounced right out of her relationship with Miller to a quickie engagement to Pete Davidson of SNL. I love Pete on SNL, but he’s been very vocal about his own issues with drugs in the past, so it’s possible this young lady might be in for more of the same. As someone who made shitloads of really terrible choices in her 20’s, I know some of us have to make mistakes several times before we learn our lessons.
In the meantime, blame the addiction, and yes, blame the addict. They’re still culpable. However, you cannot blame a romantic partner who has had absolutely enough of this bullshit.
-Love, light, and accountability,