“Sitcks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you”…at least I think that’s how it goes, right? I call bullshit, total fucking bullshit. Words are the reason I have been inconsistent at best with blogging, because I know all too well how absolutely powerful the spoken/written word is. As someone who understands that I am the creator of my reality and my emotions, thoughts and words create that reality, I always want to choose my words carefully. Always using focused intention, coming from a place of unconditional love and emapthy. As an Empath, empathy is kind of my gig and as an Empath I have known and can feel the emotions behind words. It’s not the words themselves, but the emotion/intention behind them.
I have spent the majority of my life walking on eggshells, afraid my words may set off the narcissists I found myself surrounded by. I have been abused mentally, physically and emotionally throughout most of my life. Although, no form of abuse is acceptable, nor worse than the other. For me, the physical abuse was much easier to heal than the others, it was the words, the emotion behind them, that caused the deepest wounds. I am at a place of peace and acceptance with the people and events in my life that caused the pain. I now understand 1. that everything happens for a reason and 2. that there is no good, or bad…just blessings and lessons. If there is 1 thing I’ve learned from these people, it is who I don’t want to be and I appreciate that.
As a mother of 3 amazing kiddos, I have become very aware of how I speak to them and admit that was not always so. I’m a spiritual being having a human experience, but I am human and did not always have the perspective I do now. It’s been interesting as my 2 older children are 19 & 15, the youngest is 4. I can recall so many things I said to the bigs when they were younger that I would never say now. As a child, the words of my mother and peers hurt me in ways I have just come to understand at the deepest levels. Words that we hear most parents say because we have been conditioned to believe words can’t hurt us. Things like: “I don’t care.” “Stop being such a baby.” “Get over it.” you get the idea and I am certain you are hearing a certain voice as you read. I’ve said these things, to my children, to my students, to myself. I forgive myself for what I did not know, nor understand. We are all deeply programmed to behave this way and it is something that must change. Especially for masculine’s…who are so deeply programmed to believe their emotional body is not important. It is the root cause of most of the fucked up shit (mass shootings, separating children from their mothers, etc.) happening in American society. We must stop invalidating emotions, if we are to evolve, as humans this shit’s got to stop.
Now, the first thing I ask my kids, is are you happy? Does this make your heart happy? I have no expectations (the root of so much heartache) of who, or what my children are, or will become. The most important things to me are their happiness and that they are kind to themselves and others. My words to them are the foundation of this. Lucas (15) and Jackson (4) are my boys and I will not invalidate their feelings. Last year, Luke’s dad texted me saying what a baby he was…I was so fucking livid. My immediate response was please do not invalidate his feelings. The response, don’t tell me what to do. This patriarchal, ego based society has existed for 5,000 years and where the fuck has it gotten us? This teaching that emotions are not valid has led to the dis-empowerment of the feminine, because we are emotions first (typically). We are seen as lesser because we need to express our emotions. Emotions, we are taught, are a sign of weakness. Let me just say this, it takes one strong ass motherfucker to be open and vulnerable, to lay all of your feelings out on the table. This will be something I touch upon time and time again.
My last thought on words, because I know my use of profanity is offensive to some…I give 0 fucks if people are offended by my word choice. They can save your judgments for someone who will buy into it, I won’t. As long as my words continue to come from love and light, used to illuminate darkness, I’m good. In fact, I’m better than good…I’m motherfucking golden.
Peace, Love and Light Y’all
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