1 down, 1 to go…the holidays can be a bitch, for many (guarantee more than most of you are aware of), including me. The funny things is I always tell people Thanksgiving is my favorite, but the truth is I’m just not a holiday person. Although, I have always appreciated Thanksgiving, because our society hasn’t commercialized the shit out of it. Yesterday, was the best I’ve had in a few years, more peaceful for sure, but still emotional. Being an empath, everyday can be emotional, if I don’t take care of myself and for the first time in my adult life, that is what I intend to do…take care of myself, put me first.
I’m AK Pink, spiritual gangster…a21st century healer, on a mission to empower myself to live authentically, in my truth, the life I deserve. Sharing my story, is my way to inspire & guide others, especially women, to do the same. Empowering ourselves is the way we will shift consciousness, raise vibrations & teach the ones we love to do the same. When we love ourselves unconditionally, we vibrate it out to others. But, it starts with US, it starts with me. Putting me first, or selfishness as our society likes to call it, is new to me.
The truth is I was never taught that happiness was an inside job. As a psychic empath, I spent my childhood watching my mother’s moods change according to external factors. It was confusing to see her acting happy, yet feeling her sadness, fears & insecurities. Sadly, our self limiting belief systems are programmed mainly by our parents, they rest by society(which is damn scary when you really think about it). Now, at 42, I can see that I’ve been living the exact same way…faking how I feel inside to please those I love, meet their expectations of who I am & what my life should look like. Living a life driven by fears & insecurities.
Thanksgiving 2016 was the beginning of the end. I was completely lost, not recognizing the person in the mirror. 5 years of narcissist abuse, on top of a lifetime of challenges, will do that to a girl. My 2nd marriage was about to end (I could feel it.) & my older children had distanced themselves from it, from me. Truth be told, I am extremely proud of them for putting themselves first(I’m certain their dad taught them that). That night, I told my husband things needed to change or we were headed to divorce. He moved out 3 weeks later, other than our son, it was the greatest gift he ever gave me.
So you would think the next year would have been better: Woo hoo! No narcissistic husband to ruin this Thanksgiving! It’s funny to say that, knowing now that I AM the only one who decides what kind of Thanksgiving (or any other day) I am going to have. Sadly, this was not the case, separation from my twin flame had catapulted me into the Dark Night of the Soul, in simplest terms ego-death leading to spiritual awakening. I was in a fucking black hole, I was nothing…ashes. November/December of 2017 were the darkest days of my life.
This year has been quite an adventure-some days are down right shitty, awakening is not as pretty as some would have you believe. Like a phoenix (my next tat BTW) though, I have risen from the ashes. Meditation, yoga and writing have been, and will continue to be, my tools of continued healing. I approached Thanksgiving differently this year, I am different this year…like me it was quiet (my kids & 2 of my favorite people), laid back, peaceful, a little emotional (heart on my sleeve always) & I am grateful for every second of it. Hell, I’m grateful for the past 2 Thanksgivings, as well.
Mitch & I are like yin & yang…hopefully 1 (or even better..both) of our truths resonate with you. This is all new to us so please feel free to share your stories (it’s empowering), ask questions, or leave comments. We are so grateful for any opportunity to share perspectives that empower our growth in every way.
Peace, Love & Light